Using Gratitude to Lead with Strength and Empathy
You may have heard the expression, "What you focus on expands." At its simplest, this is beautifully captured by Sitting Bull’s famous words:
“Inside of me, there are two dogs. One is mean and evil, and the other is good, and they fight each other all the time. When asked which one wins, I answer, ‘The one I feed the most.’”
This powerful image reminds us that we have a choice in what we focus on, and what we choose to feed our minds will shape our perspectives and lives.
Last night, I read an interview with the late Christopher Reeve, and his words left me feeling greatly encouraged. Reeve faced incredible challenges following his paralysis, yet his mindset and resilience shine through in his responses. When asked about his attitude toward life after his accident, he shared,
“I refuse to allow a disability to determine how I live my life.”
Despite his circumstances, Reeve found ways to maintain control over his outlook and to focus on what he could still contribute to the world. Reeve also spoke of his choice to embrace courage, saying, “I recommend courage,” when asked about his message to his kids. He saw courage not as an absence of fear but as a choice to move forward regardless.
In my quiet time this morning, inspired by Reeve’s words, I made a conscious decision to put behind me negative thoughts and worries about things I cannot control and put positive actions I can take in front of me.
As Charles Dickens wrote, “Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some,”
Doing this opened my eyes to just how much I’d been taking for granted. Yes, this past year has been challenging for me and perhaps many of you. But when I pause to consider everything I’m grateful for—my family, friends, health, the clean water in my home, my team, my country, the peace we have and my work—I am humbled by the abundance I often overlook. Reeve’s interview underscored this: he chose to focus on the good he could do, the people he could still inspire, and the moments of joy he could create.
But gratitude isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action. Henri Frederic Amiel said it well:
“Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.”
Genuine gratitude demands that we act on it. When we do, it brings us a sense of confident humility—thinking of ourselves less and others more. When we do, it profoundly impacts the receiver, too - they’ll treasure it! Think back to when you received an expression of thank you from someone you admire and respect. How did you feel? I still have the handwritten thank you note from my Dad that I received as a 10-year-old, thanking me for being brave and looking after my younger siblings and Mum while he was away on active duty.
Let gratitude be more than a feeling; let it be an action!
I offer you this challenge: Write down everything you’re grateful for. Think of those who help you, support you, and give meaning to your work. Then, choose a way to express it—a handwritten note, a phone call, or even a simple thank you. Tell them how much they mean to you. Send a handwritten thank you letter to a former mentor, a current work colleague, a team member or a client and express your gratitude for the shoulders they allowed you to stand on and the support they have given you. Go a step further and review your gratitude rhythm and rituals within your team – implement weekly acknowledgements and expressions of gratitude and start a praise tracker to monitor your progress. We both know that what gets measured gets done.
If you want to deepen your gratitude practice, I invite you to download the Gratitude Document I’ve created. It’s designed to help you reflect on the good in your life and turn those reflections into meaningful actions. You can find the link here and start today.
Times ahead may bring their share of challenges, yet we can steer through them by choosing gratitude, which brings resilience and perspective. John F. Kennedy said,
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.”
So, today, let gratitude be more than a feeling; let it be an action! An action that reinforces our strength and empathy as leaders. When you act on gratitude, you’ll lead with clarity, kindness, and a purpose that inspires others, even in the most challenging times.
Gary Good
Founder - LeaderLegacy
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